My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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