I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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