whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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