YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
