It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize