Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
