ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
