Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
