Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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