hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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