She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
