Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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