In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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