talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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