If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
