I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
