I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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