i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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