I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
