Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
