Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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