i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
