never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Panties = found
Randomize
