BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
