Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
