she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
