talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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