umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
