Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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