Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
