It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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