He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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