You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
