fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
