Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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