Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
