how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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