we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
