before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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