Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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