That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
