Apparently you make a good broom.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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