The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
