No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
whose parrot is this?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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