We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
