What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So much Jack, so little girl.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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