Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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