My liver just broke up with me...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
