Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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