I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
