god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
