walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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