Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
