why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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