you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
