only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
