When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
