Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
