I can't breathe out the right side of my face
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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