I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
