When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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