i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
