the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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