I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize