i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm both gender and math confused
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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