I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
