Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
